Hormone Driven Hogwarts
by LithiumEyes
Summary: Rating may change. Hermione has 'grown' over the summer and all the males at Hogwarts and it seems everyone else has noticed. Really random and most likely one-shot.


Me: I'm like bouncing off da walls right now so…..Funny time:P

VampGirl: You need a hobby.

CJ: Is your main goal in life to make people go to hell?

Me: Nope! Heaven! I'm going to hell so I tell my enemies to go to heaven!

CJ: Umm….

VampGirl: She has a point. All the hot guys go to hell.

Me: On a different note, sing little singing alien named Fred!

Fred: Why are you trying to make fun of me?  
You think it's funny? What the fuck you think it's doing to me?  
You take your turn lashing out at me  
I want you crying when you're bloody down in front of me  
All of my hate cannot be bound  
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming  
So you can try to tear me down  
Beat me to the ground  
I will see you screaming

(Thoughtless-Evanescence)

Disclaimer: Ho hum, I wish I had some rum! I don't own anything but my killer squirrels! Isn't that right my killer squirrel leader, Fluffy?

Saying Of The Day: Save the trees! Wipe your ass on an owl!

* * *

Harry: Another fine day at Hogwarts. Where is Hermione? She wasn't on the train.

Ron: I know. I'm getting worried…

Hermione: (walks in with D cup boobs) Hi! Sorry I was late! Traffic was a bitch!

Ron Harry: (drooling) Damn….

Hermione: You might want to wipe your chin. Or at least get a bucket.

Ron Harry: (Sitting in a pool of drool)

Hermione: Anyways, I found a spell that would be fun! It can make you invisible to whoever you don't want to be seen by!

Ron: Really?

Harry: Why don't you show us. (Raises his eyebrows suggestively)

Ron: I saw her first!

Hermione: Lets take out our wands. Okay say it with me; Invisio Magius!

Ron Harry: (Staring at Hermione's boobs) What was that?

Hermione: Invisio Magius!

Ron: So you want to have dinner with me 'Mione?

Hermione: We need to concentrate! Death Eaters could attack at any moment!

Random group of Death Eaters: Haha! We will kill Potter for our master! (turn to see Hermione) Damn…

Harry: She's mine! I mean you can't defeat me! (Jumps out dramatically, waving his wand)

Ron: She's mine dammit! I mean we won't let you kill Harry! I intend to fight him to the death over our true love!

Hermione: (Jumping up and down) Say the spell I taught you, Harry!

All guys: (Staring at Hermione's bouncing chest) Damn….

Hermione: Focus! Harry say the spell!

Harry: Yeah… What was it?

Hermione: Forget it! Curse them or do something!

Harry: Okay! (Jumps Hermione)

Ron: Hey!

Hermione: Get off me and attack the Death Eaters!

Harry: Right! Action later!

Ron: Run Hermione! I'll protect you!

Death Eater: (To Hermione) So…Ever consider a side change?

Hermione: Never! I won't hurt my friends and innocent people!

Death Eater: You could hurt me! (winks at Hermione)

Harry: Hands off my woman! I mean my friend! (shifty eyes)

Ron: I say we call Dumbledore! He can help us!

Dumbledore: I was called? (Sees Hermione) Damn….

Hermione: Professor! There are Death Eaters!

Dumbledore: Mmhmm. So…Ever consider dating older men?

Hermione: Well…No.

Dumbledore: Would you?

Harry: Back off! She's mine old man!

Dumbledore: You know about all those rules that were broken and those times I covered up for you, I can make all the bad things come back…

Harry: (gulps) She's yours!

Hermione: Back to business! Call the order for help!

Lupin, Moody Hagrid: We were called? (See Hermione) Damn….

Hagrid: Ever dated a half giant?

Hermione: Why does everyone ask me about my love life? I'm only 16!

Moody: Your point? Almost an adult. You know I'm free Friday night…

Death Eaters: She's ours! We'll sick our master on you!

Voldemort: You called? (Bumps in Hermione) Sorry…Damn….

Hermione: Why does everyone keep saying that?

Ron: Run before someone starts jumping you!

Hermione: What are you talking about?

Random people: HERMIONE! (Jump on Hermione)

Harry: NO! I must save my love!

Ron: Go find Cho then! I'm coming Hermione!

Hermione: Ok! Everyone leave now!

Everyone except Ron Harry: Oh…No fair!

Hermione: There's the door.

Ron: You did it! You saved us! Can we have a dramatic love scene now?

Harry: No! I know we are meant to be! Choose me Hermione!

Hermione: You boys are getting stranger by the day! I'm going to go take a shower and get ready for bed. I'll see you in the morning! (Walks away)

Ron: So Harry…Should we?

Harry: You know that handy invisibility charm just popped into my head… INVISIO MAGIUS!

-

Me: That was perverted but oh well! The idea is partially SNL's But I created this story so :P!

REVIEW ME!


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